It has come to my attention that my son is planning on relating an incident that occurred while taking my car through the car wash. Should any of you follow his blog, The Dreamer's Door, (and you really should. He's very interesting) please be aware that his version of the event does not agree with mine.
The facts are quite simple.I had opened my door while paying for the wash because I couldn't quite reach the machine to swipe my card. I failed to close it all the way and when the car wash started some water came into my car. Here is where we differ on the following events. Brian claims I began to use a certain word and kept it up for the entire wash and all the way home plus a while longer after we got back. Certainly anyone who has ever met me could never even begin to imagine that a sweet, kind, gentle, patient person like myself could use that superfluous vulgarity at all, much less for twenty whole minutes.
I believe that when the water began to get in the car I said something like "Oh dear me. I am getting wet"
My son replied with something like "Well shut the door you crazy old woman!!!"
Not all that much water got in. My phone didn't even get wet because my purse floated to the back seat and my dash really did need a good cleaning. I did get the door properly shut and we simply finished the wash and headed home. My son would never tell a lie but he certainly remembers the event incorrectly. I think I can explain his confusion. First he had a bit of soap in his ears, (though I had a more.) Secondly he was laughing at his poor old mother a bit too much. In fact I remember thinking that I would,er, I mean he could hurt himself if he didn't stop laughing so hard. I have even figured out why he mistakenly thought I might have said a certain bad word. I put on my window wipers and they were making a sound kind of like "fwuck, fwuck, fwuck" as they went back and forth. Through his cruel laughter he must have misheard that sound and shockingly thought that I was making such a noise.
So there it is, all easily explained.
PS, And I only had those wipers going not a second over fifteen minutes.
Tuesday, December 31, 2013
Monday, December 30, 2013
Jack the Wonder dog
Jack is a wonder dog along the lines of I wonder why I have him. I wonder if he will ever grow up. I wonder if he will ever stop using the little dogs as chew toys. (Alas, all my bichons now have hairless ears and tails.)
I wonder if he will ever stop making surprise lunges while he is on the leash.
I also wonder if he will ever meet a person he doesn't like. I wonder why he is so happy all the time. (Whoo hoo!!! I'm going out side!! Whoohoo, I'm coming inside.) I wonder if he will ever stop greeting me when I leave the room for ten seconds just as excitedly as when I've been gone all day.
I wonder what goes through his head..
A few weeks ago Jack spent almost three days studying me. He would sit and stare at me while I watched TV, or read a book. He watched while I talked on the phone. He watched me when Ron or Brian came home. On the third day I had had enough. "What are you looking at, you crazy dog?"
Slowly and deliberately while gazing at my face he lifted his lips in a perfect smile, his tail wagging like crazy.
Apparently he was studying me to learn how to smile. After that first try he now smiles alot! He smiles when he wants a treat, when I come home, when I say his name.
The first time he smiled at Brian he gave a huge goofy grin showing all his impressive white teeth. Brian had a brief second of wondering if he was about to get eaten, but soon realized what was going on. Now Jack not only smiles at us, he has also taught Ron's dog Pepper to smile and they sometimes smile at each other.
Now I wonder, how did we manage to get along without Jack the Wonder dog.
I wonder if he will ever stop making surprise lunges while he is on the leash.
I also wonder if he will ever meet a person he doesn't like. I wonder why he is so happy all the time. (Whoo hoo!!! I'm going out side!! Whoohoo, I'm coming inside.) I wonder if he will ever stop greeting me when I leave the room for ten seconds just as excitedly as when I've been gone all day.
I wonder what goes through his head..
A few weeks ago Jack spent almost three days studying me. He would sit and stare at me while I watched TV, or read a book. He watched while I talked on the phone. He watched me when Ron or Brian came home. On the third day I had had enough. "What are you looking at, you crazy dog?"
Slowly and deliberately while gazing at my face he lifted his lips in a perfect smile, his tail wagging like crazy.
Apparently he was studying me to learn how to smile. After that first try he now smiles alot! He smiles when he wants a treat, when I come home, when I say his name.
The first time he smiled at Brian he gave a huge goofy grin showing all his impressive white teeth. Brian had a brief second of wondering if he was about to get eaten, but soon realized what was going on. Now Jack not only smiles at us, he has also taught Ron's dog Pepper to smile and they sometimes smile at each other.
Now I wonder, how did we manage to get along without Jack the Wonder dog.
Friday, December 27, 2013
Christine
I have a haunted car.
A couple of months ago I decided to do something about the terrible mileage I was getting on my car. The car was perfectly fine, but was only getting 22 or 23 miles per gallon. It's a fifty six mile round trip to church and I have to make the trip at least three times a week so I was spending quite a bit on gas when you add in all my other driving. There is a reason for the saying poor as a church mouse. Spending so much on gas was eating up our budget. Some months anything beyond Ramen noodles seemed like a luxury!
I was at the used car lot with my son who was actually shopping for a car, his old Ranger having finally rusted out beyond any hope of repair, when out of the corner of my eye I caught a flash of silver. I wandered down the lot curiously when I came to the source of the flash, a VW Beetle tucked between two big SUVs.
She was a beautiful silver with a saucy racing stripe running up her hood and over the car. I like cars with nice "faces" and her's was sweet. She seemed to be smiling at me. As I admired her the lot owner came up and "innocently" asked me if I would like to try her out. "Oooooowhahaha, she's a wonderful car," he said, as he slipped the key into my hand. "You'll love her, ooooooowhhahaha"
So, unaware that my life was about to change I took her for a test drive. She was wonderful, peppy and responsive, the manual transmission so much fun. She had heated seats and a beautiful leather interior. We drove around a while and I began to think I needed this car.
On my return to the lot the lot owner approached with a smile. "Isn't she great? She gets great mileage too. The former owner said he got over 40 per gallon and in the summer it got up to 50 a gallon. Can't beat theses diesel engines."
"Why did he get rid of her if he liked her so much?"
"Oh he just mummble, mummble erhem mummble."
"What?"
"Cone on, let's get the paperwork going"
So, a few minutes later I had a car!
As I pulled out of the lot in my new car, the doors suddenly locked with a loud ominous thunk. I should have turned back then, but I was in love.
At home I had two days of bliss then I went to start her on the third day and the check engine light was on. I called the car lot. "It's just the glow plug sensor. Don't worry about it. We'll put a new one in next time you come out here."
That didn't sound too bad, but as I hung up the phone in the house I heard a horn beep in the driveway and the loud thunk of car doors locking. My nightmare was beginning. The car began to lock and unlock at will while driving, at night, at odd times during the day. The interior lights went on and off. No light when I got in and out at night , but working fine in the daytime.
I complained to my son . He laughed and said, "You should call her Christine, after that haunted movie car"
Out in the driveway, "Christine" beeped her horn and locked and unlocked her doors. My son said, "See? She likes that name."
She does like that name. I entered the car after a hair cut. I was sitting texting my husband to let him know I would be home soon. Christine suddenly locked the doors and set off the car alarm.
Approaching her in the parking lot I saw an elderly woman passing by and as she did Christine locked the doors and blew her horn. The poor woman dropped her bags and clutched her chest.
Even after a new glow plug sensor, the check engine light goes on and off, staring at me when I'm driving.
I am not sure what the future holds. I try to treat her nicely, giving her car washes and filling her with her favorite diesel fuel and i got her new wiper blades, but I'm not sure how long this tentative peace will last. Even as I write this, I can hear her lock going on and off in the driveway.
My husband says, "You are aware that it is just a short in the door locking mechanism aren't you?"
So he says, but he hasn't seen the dash light winking at me or heard her sinister chuckle when the doors snap locked. Where this will end????? I just don't know.
A couple of months ago I decided to do something about the terrible mileage I was getting on my car. The car was perfectly fine, but was only getting 22 or 23 miles per gallon. It's a fifty six mile round trip to church and I have to make the trip at least three times a week so I was spending quite a bit on gas when you add in all my other driving. There is a reason for the saying poor as a church mouse. Spending so much on gas was eating up our budget. Some months anything beyond Ramen noodles seemed like a luxury!
I was at the used car lot with my son who was actually shopping for a car, his old Ranger having finally rusted out beyond any hope of repair, when out of the corner of my eye I caught a flash of silver. I wandered down the lot curiously when I came to the source of the flash, a VW Beetle tucked between two big SUVs.
She was a beautiful silver with a saucy racing stripe running up her hood and over the car. I like cars with nice "faces" and her's was sweet. She seemed to be smiling at me. As I admired her the lot owner came up and "innocently" asked me if I would like to try her out. "Oooooowhahaha, she's a wonderful car," he said, as he slipped the key into my hand. "You'll love her, ooooooowhhahaha"
So, unaware that my life was about to change I took her for a test drive. She was wonderful, peppy and responsive, the manual transmission so much fun. She had heated seats and a beautiful leather interior. We drove around a while and I began to think I needed this car.
On my return to the lot the lot owner approached with a smile. "Isn't she great? She gets great mileage too. The former owner said he got over 40 per gallon and in the summer it got up to 50 a gallon. Can't beat theses diesel engines."
"Why did he get rid of her if he liked her so much?"
"Oh he just mummble, mummble erhem mummble."
"What?"
"Cone on, let's get the paperwork going"
So, a few minutes later I had a car!
As I pulled out of the lot in my new car, the doors suddenly locked with a loud ominous thunk. I should have turned back then, but I was in love.
At home I had two days of bliss then I went to start her on the third day and the check engine light was on. I called the car lot. "It's just the glow plug sensor. Don't worry about it. We'll put a new one in next time you come out here."
That didn't sound too bad, but as I hung up the phone in the house I heard a horn beep in the driveway and the loud thunk of car doors locking. My nightmare was beginning. The car began to lock and unlock at will while driving, at night, at odd times during the day. The interior lights went on and off. No light when I got in and out at night , but working fine in the daytime.
I complained to my son . He laughed and said, "You should call her Christine, after that haunted movie car"
Out in the driveway, "Christine" beeped her horn and locked and unlocked her doors. My son said, "See? She likes that name."
She does like that name. I entered the car after a hair cut. I was sitting texting my husband to let him know I would be home soon. Christine suddenly locked the doors and set off the car alarm.
Approaching her in the parking lot I saw an elderly woman passing by and as she did Christine locked the doors and blew her horn. The poor woman dropped her bags and clutched her chest.
Even after a new glow plug sensor, the check engine light goes on and off, staring at me when I'm driving.
I am not sure what the future holds. I try to treat her nicely, giving her car washes and filling her with her favorite diesel fuel and i got her new wiper blades, but I'm not sure how long this tentative peace will last. Even as I write this, I can hear her lock going on and off in the driveway.
My husband says, "You are aware that it is just a short in the door locking mechanism aren't you?"
So he says, but he hasn't seen the dash light winking at me or heard her sinister chuckle when the doors snap locked. Where this will end????? I just don't know.
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